


The great outdoors

by Puppymom



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puppymom/pseuds/Puppymom
Summary: Pete and Chasten are spending some time in Michigan
Relationships: Chasten Buttigieg/Pete Buttigieg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	The great outdoors

“Peter! Lis is calling you!”  
Peter replied from the bathroom “Will you get it for me? I’ll be right there!”  
He hollered back “Sure” before picking up Peter’s phone “Hey Lis! Peter will be here in a minute – how are you doing?”  
“Turning into one of those cat ladies, isolation is driving me crazy! How are you holding up in Hillbilly land? Did you enroll for the annual steer-breeding contest yet?”  
“Ha, you read the book? We’re good – but you do know Northern Michigan is no way near Hillbilly land, do you? Explains a lot, though – we invited you to come over here at least three times, but if you’ve been looking for us in the Appalachians…”  
“Yeah, of course I read the book – I read about pick up trucks, hunting and fishing, 4H. I don’t need to come over to know that’s Hillbilly Land for you. Besides, I’m pretty sure I would evaporate will all that green around me. But, thanks anyway.”  
As Peter walked in, Chasten put the phone on the speaker “Peter’s here now, Lis. She still refuses to come stay with us for a couple of days.”  
“You should, Lis, the tranquility over here, it’s amazing!”  
“Yeah… right… tranquility, that has my name written all over it… So what are you two up to, besides ripping Trump and Fox – on Fox –, fixing kitchen sinks and going all gay with interior decorating?”  
Never one to beat around the bush, Lis. Chasten snorted, but Peter had grown into not hearing abusive and swearing language out of Lis, while spending a lot of time with her on the campaign.  
“Well, Chasten’s busy with interviews for his book, I’m finishing up mine and we’re both pretty busy preparing for Notre Dame and Harvard. And in between we really enjoy hiking and biking and just relaxing, I guess.”  
“Huh. And canoeing? I saw a picture on Chasten’s Instagram of you in a canoe.”  
“Yeah, the house came with 4 canoes. We could take you out canoeing if you would come over…”  
“Right. Me and my heals in a canoe, you can really picture it, can you? So – are you just peddling around a bit, or do you actually make trips with those redneck gondolas?”  
[Hillbilly Land, Redneck Gondolas – to Lis they really where in Fly-over country.]  
“Depends. The other day we went on a tour for a couple of hours, up the river and then back with the current after lunch.”  
“Well, look at you, talking all nautical “back with the current”… You brought lunch with you?”  
“Yeah [duh!] – this might come as a shock to you, Lis, but there don’t tend to be a lot of diners in the great outdoors.”  
“And yet you wonder why I don’t drop by. So, there’s like a beach where you stopped to have lunch?”  
Lis’ fascination with their canoe trip was… weird. Peter and Chasten shot each other a glance.  
“There’s no beaches here, Lis.” Chasten put himself back into the conversation, with a cup of coffee for the both of them.  
“Not? Oh, but you can – what do you call it – land your canoes someplace, for lunch, I guess?”  
“Yes, Lis, we got out of the canoes to have lunch. What’s with your interest in our canoeing? It’s scary…”  
“Oh, I don’t know, just curious. I’ve never been canoeing. So, you got out at some remote spot?”  
“Yes. [sigh]”  
“No one in sight?”  
“No. [si-”  
“God dammit, you assholes! You are so abso-fucking-lutely lucky the campaign is over!!! I would have kicked both of your asses so bad, you would have had to keep standing for weeks. Morons! Ever heard of telescopic lenses!!!???”  
  
***

_After lunch, they put everything back in the waterproof bags and while Chasten put them back in the canoes, he expected Peter to get the blanket and follow him. When he was tired of waiting he went looking for Peter, to find him stretched out on the blanket, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Or, more likely, the peacefulness of the place. He sneaked up to him to surprise him, but in the end he made his presence clear by softly saying “Hey” and he went in for a sweet kiss while he lowered himself on top of his husband. They enjoyed some sweet kissing for a while, but then Peter rolled them over, making Chasten yelp out in surprise. They continued kissing, a bit more in earnest until Chasten rolled them back over again. They continued going back and forth, the kissing becoming a bit more intense, while also laughing with each roll. At one point, Chasten rolled down from under Peter, got up while grabbing Peter’s sunglasses and ran away with them while yelling at him “Look! A monkey got your sunglasses!”_

***

“What?!” Chasten and Peter looked confused at each other. Thankfully a swearing Lis filled them in quickly.  
“Some redneck asshole with an interest in birds – birds! - apparently got two very horny love birds in his shithole lens and started filming a gay mating dance. What the fuck where you thinking, out there? Don’t you dare say “we thought we were all alone”, you dipshits. Fucking hell, I’m so mad, I might actually get over there and slap some common sense in you. What have I told you, a million times, all through the campaign? When you’re in a hotel room we couldn’t check, zip it up! Out in a holding room, zip it up! Only to find you a couple of months later going at it like a couple of goddamn hippies in the woods. That fucking asshole of course sold his shit to some fucking news station not too good to actually air it. It may be out there already. I got word of it – but I’m not in a position to stop them from airing it anymore. What the fuck is in that fucking video anyway? Please tell me there’s no actual footage of one of you fucking the other! That would be the end of any future campaign right there.”  
Peter was the first to get his speech back. “No… no fucking…”  
“Oh fuck, you were giving him a blowjob, weren’t you?”  
Chasten chimed in, his nerves making him giggle “That would technically be me fucking his face and he just said “no fucking”.”  
“Being a smartass, aren’t we? Should have kept your smartasses in those floating jockstraps. I contacted Zev, he’s writing a statement on your behalf that he will email to you. Look at it and let me know if you want me to get it out there, or if you want to do it your stupid, horny selves. You know that from now you will be known as Horny Pete instead of Mayor Pete, right?”  
“Well, on the bright side, this may stop all those ridiculous stories of Peter not really being gay. Or not gay enough…”  
They could hear Lis loosing it at the other side of the phone. “This is exactly why you’re in charge of fucking him and I was in charge of communications! Of course it won’t! The Rush Limbaughs of the world will loose their minds, going on and on about your loose morals –“  
Peter interrupted her “Loose morals!? We’re married!”  
“Oh, the nitwit with a Harvard degree has to say something just as stupid too – a gay marriage doesn’t count in their hellish neck of the woods – and what they are supposed to tell their numerous broods. Like any of their homeschooled evangelical offspring ever will get close to see something as interesting as that! And the lovely rose people will say you had the footage taken on purpose. Probably claiming it’s not even you.”

***  
  
_Obviously, Peter couldn’t let that be, so he ran after his husband, but couldn’t get his hands on him, circling a big tree. After Chasten had teased him enough to his liking, he gave him back the glasses and still hiccupping he walked back to the canoes. But Peter snuck up at him, lifted him up in his arms and walked them in the water, to drop Chasten right at the point where the water started to deepen. Chasten of course, had anticipated this, so he hang on to Peter and both of them went down. They fought each other, fooling around like a couple of boys. Only they weren’t boys anymore, so at one point playfully fooling around evolved into something way less innocent. The kissing and grabbing through clothes became pretty intense pretty rapidly. Peter lifted Chasten’s t-shirt over his head and started kissing his wet body and roaming it with his hands, until Chasten did the same to Peter. Only just before hitting that point of no return, they remembered where they were, out in the open, albeit very remote. They looked each other in the eyes and toned it down. Still kissing, but not as frantically anymore. Eventually, they each got a dry shirt from their pack in the canoe (their shirts lost out there in the water somewhere) and peddled back home. Reaching their summer house, they tried to outrun each other to the bedroom – Peter taking the lead, being a runner, but Chasten won, because he didn’t mind playing mean. In the privacy of their bedroom they finished what had started in the water._

***  
  
They put out the statement Zev wrote (didn’t need to change a word, he knew them well – something about being appalled and at the same time not ashamed of their love) and watched the world go crazy. Well, the online world anyway. Even before the statement was out, the local gossip had it known who filmed them. Rumor was he got a nice chunk of money for the footage, some said as much as $ 10,000. Chasten’s dad noted he now regretted not filming them that time he walked in on them (“That could have easily been an early retirement!”) and Chasten’s mom sent them memes with stills from them in the water. Their friends were worried, but after they’d let them know they were fine, were not above having a ball with them as well. They would think about taking steps against the tv station and the bird watcher, at some point, just not now.  
  
The next evening they sat on the porch in silence - knowing full well what each of them was thinking. Peter always feeling guilty about what he had brought upon his husband, while Chasten would always let him know he would gladly walk through fire for him. Chasten always wondered how non of the crazy stuff mattered, as long as he had Peter, the love of his life, in his corner and Peter always answered he was the love of his life, too.  
The neighbor was passing by with his fishing gear and Chasten took a picture of him – making Peter raise an eyebrow. Chasten sent the picture to Lis, captioning it _THE GREAT OUTDOORS,_ receiving an answer right away _STRAIGHT?!_ and – after the affirmative answer – _THAT’S ONE HOT HILLBILLY! MIGHT TAKE YOU UP ON THAT INVITATION AFTER ALL… (TAKE A RIGHT AT DETROIT, RIGHT?)_  
“I just made up with Lis, I think, liberals and right-wing-evangelicals are loosing it online, but I’m good, you’re good, we have our own little semi-porn to look at if we want now… I’m as happy as the day I married you.”  
“Right back at ya. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”  
Life may not be perfect, but as the sun set, enjoying each other’s company (and eyeing that neighbor), life was good for them. Really, really good.


End file.
